new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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