i just wanna soil my oats bro
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
