U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
