i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize