I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He felt like a one man threesome
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
is it fun? or sober?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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