Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
