The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
