Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
