Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
