just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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