So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
