"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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