Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
