youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
