Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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