You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
