Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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