Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
