I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
