Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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