I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
