Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
