if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
only you would photoshop your dick
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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