i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
