suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
