i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
