If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
