32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
