Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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