Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
