rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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