Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
