So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
