Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
