hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize