You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name