Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.