Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Operation Purity has been aborted
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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