Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just wanna be euthanized