I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
