What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
