I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
