Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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