Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
