Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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