Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
