Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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