so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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