Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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