i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
