Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
