Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
