bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I look excited, but its just a facade.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
