I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
