$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
