On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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