I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
