it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
