Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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