she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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