As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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