Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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